It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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