i was rollin on her like bob the builder
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
