Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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