It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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