It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
