So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
