I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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