Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
