I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
