You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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