And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
you had me at cake vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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