I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
