I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
