i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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