we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
