i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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