Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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