If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
