we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
