She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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