moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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