It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
