I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
