he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
