Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
