Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
