A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
