ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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