is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
