It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
The best revenge is premature balding
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
