What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
