hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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