That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
