Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
