I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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