I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
