My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Randomize
