hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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