Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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