I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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