So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
