Are we in a gay sports bar?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
