if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
