It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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