I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
