i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
