the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Welp...herpes.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
