Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Farmville is her only friend.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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