I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
