I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
