he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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