they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
