I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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