you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
