I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
