the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
