Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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